I Don’t Know How She Does It—Cute but Missing a Key Point

This weekend I saw I Don’t Know How She Does It with a few of my girlfriends. (My husband happily stayed home—he’s the type of guy who tends to shy away from Sarah Jessica Parker movies.) Based on the 18% RottenTomatoes score it received, I was expecting the worst. And, as with most light comedies I’ve seen lately, it wasn’t actually all that bad. The plot was fluffy and the conclusion was ridiculous, but the cast was so likable that I actually smiled a few times (how can a movie with Greg Kinnear really be that terrible?)

As for the premise, well it’s about a woman trying to juggle a high-powered career and her family. And the script nailed all of the cliches—resentful stay-at-home moms who work out all day, the jealous male co-worker, the corporate climbing “I never want to have kids” female colleague. Sarah Jessica’s character, Kate,  tries to “do it all” by relying heavily on her husband and random babysitters.

But where I Don’t Know How She Does It failed miserably was the fact that, not once, did Kate turn to her friends.

As a mom who works from home, I know what it’s like to rely on others for help. Not that I’m comparing myself to someone with a high pressure job—after all, I don’t have to travel every few days and I’m lucky that I can set my own schedule. However, I do have to travel occasionally and meet deadlines, so I often need to depend on others. Like Kate’s husband, mine is an enormous help and I certainly couldn’t do “it” without him.

But my friends are constantly helping me out, too (and vice versa). As I work this afternoon, my friend is picking my daughter up with hers and meeting me at their gymnastics class an hour later. I’ve been stuck on lengthy interviews or even in the waiting room at doctor’s offices, and have called friends last-minute for a impromptu play date. They all readily agree. And I’d do the same for them.

The thing is, all of us—working moms, stay-at-home moms, and hybrids like me—do “it” by helping one another. Movies like to portray this “us versus them” mentality, but from my perspective it doesn’t exist. No one gets it the way other moms do, so we all help each other out—whether that means doing carpool duty, helping a friend work through an issue with her child’s teacher, or even just figuring out what party favors to get for a 7th birthday bash.

It truly does take a village (our husbands, relatives, and most certainly our friends!). For some reason, the movie failed to recognize that.

One Comment

  1. Posted August 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm | Permalink

    Nice, thoughtful post and interesting window into the life of a Mom and writer. Those of us who remember your work at Glamour, as well as what a sweet woman you are, are not surprised that you continue to be both a powerhouse and a team player! New York misses you, Dina, but here’s to your success:)!

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